Sunday, September 13, 2009


Empowerment Commentary By Jarrett L. Perdue Sr.

The definition of blame is:
  • To hold responsible. To find fault with. The state of being responsible for a fault or error; to consider (someone) responsible for: an expression of condemnation:
  • The act of informing an individual or group that their action or actions are socially or morally irresponsible.
  • The state of having caused a bad event
There are different types of blame. Self blame, victim blame, moral blame, natural disaster blame.

It is easy to blame someone or something else for our situations in life. Many people will make the declaration that they are not able to progress in life because of other people and circumstances. Putting the blame on others can be justified. For example, people that are victims of physical and verbal abuse due to the cause of others is reason for justification. Even though we are justified, we do not want to stay in that state of mind by carrying behavioral and categorical self blame which may lead to guilt, even if we are the victims. The word blame also means to harass with constant criticism and attribute responsibility to.

We do have the ability to overcome, become assertive, and give ourselves the ability to manage our success in daily living.
In this commentary on Empowerment & The Blame Game, I will deal with 4 areas of blame I believe are very important and the process for overcoming The Blame Game and having a triumphant and successful way of thinking. The 6 areas are:
(1) Society.
(2) Friends.
(4) Education.

Then there is The Blame Game on SOCIETY. We read the paper, watch the news, listen to the radio, search the Internet, and these things become our social relations and social interaction.

We allow ourselves to become a receiver of the downbeat things we hear, instead of extracting the positive things in those areas and applying them in our lives.

Many individuals who play The Blame Game on Society do not take the time to look for helpful things, but continue to feed their minds with negativity day after day where it becomes chronic, and then blame the media for not putting on anything positive.

Here is the solution; Stop allowing yourself to become a casualty and a target. If you continue to hear the negative, you will continue to be in the antithetical arena of extracting productive, effective and sound information.
Whatever you hear from Society that is not in accordance with a progressive and healthy lifestyle, then you delete it and have an intellective mindset. Do not play The Blame Game by blaming things on Society. Proactively be energetic and dedicated by continuing to move into the area of elevation and improvement.


The next area is The Blame Game on FRIENDS.

The definition of a friend is: "A person who is on good terms with another." "A person who gives assistance."

Many people have been wronged, betrayed, falsified against, and talked about by others. This is nothing new to anyone. Many times people blame people who they thought were Friends who have said and done harmful things to them as the reason for them feeling and acting the way they do.

When you are wronged, betrayed and falsified against, you are justified in feeling emotional hurt, anger and bitterness, especially if the perpetrator(s) is someone close to you and that you trusted.

After these things have been brought to your attention, and your frame of mind about your friend has changed, you have the choice of internalizing that hurt and blame the ones you put your trust in, who have now wronged you by their verbal assault and actions, for every subsequent negative situation that happens in your life, or you can move on. Of course the emotional pain will still be there, but you must apply self-responsibility with empowerment and start the healing process for yourself. If part of the healing process is talking to the person(s), even if there is no longer trust, then that is what should be done. Have dialogue and express your feelings. You may find a greater understanding of what happened to the friendship. It is an individual choice. Make sure your temperament is right, and there is no animosity or resentment in your disposition. 


Another area for The Blame Game is FAMILY. Many people will blame Family for the condition they are in or the emotional strife they are going through. At times Family can be the cause of very hurtful situations and people will maintain that hurt in their heart for years and years.

People will blame “Generation Curses” on their Family as the reason for them not being able to succeed. Even though you may be related by blood, you are still an individual. Even though your Family may have done things that have not been profitable, you are still an individual. This means that you have to be in charge of your own life, especially when you become an adult.

Giving or allowing your Family control over your mind and life and the things you do is relinquishing power to someone else. So if Family takes advantage of the situation and you allow it, you cannot continually put the blame on them. The key here is, if you allow it!
You do not have to be who your Family wants you to be. If you decide to change for Family, you will find they will not change for you. It is nothing wrong if Family wants to give positive input and suggestions as long as they are not speaking to you in the area of superiority. Remember, just because concepts comes from a Family member, does not mean it will have positive application in your life.

Let us love and respect our Family. We can exchange ideas. Do not continue to blame them for things in your own personal lives. They may be guilty and you feel justified in stating that it is their fault you are in the situation you are in. Take things and turn them into a positive for daily living. 


In the MSN ENCARTA Dictionary, Education is defined as "The imparting and acquiring of knowledge through teaching and learning, especially at a school or similar institution."

Under Education one can gain knowledge, instruction, learning experience, and study of teaching.

Sometimes people blame their lack of success and situations they are in because they do not have the proper EDUCATION for the particular field they want to go in. Many people equate degrees with Education. I am in 100% agreement with anyone who chooses to go to school for Education to receive his or her degree in a given field. With that said, there are those who choose to gain Education in other areas in life without going to college. All of us have different concepts and goals.

Education is about gaining knowledge. Depending on what one wants to do will depend on the type of knowledge they need for their profession.

We cannot blame our lack of Education on Education itself. It is up to the individual person to search and find out about the field they want to go in and be motivated to carry out their desire and see what it takes to have success in that specific discipline. A college degree may be required, a license may be required, a certificate may be required, and experience may be required. Whatever you need to do to get the Education you need, take self-responsibility and carry it out.

These are 4 of the many areas people will attribute The Blame Game to.

I will conclude this segment of Empowerment with this; The Blame Game is something we should not involve ourselves in on a continuing basis even if we feel justified. We all have been given special gifts, talents and abilities, to be totally successful in our endeavors in life. Let us all take advantage of the fringe benefits placed in each and every one of us and live a daily life of gain, achievement, and advancement.

Jarrett L. Perdue Sr.